Three Little Words
by Maiden of the Moon
Summary: Dammit, what was her problem? They were only three little words, each one as painless as the last! Just three, teeny, tiny, simple words... So why did they refuse to come out? Why did they get stuck in her throat? SosukexKaname


_Disclaimer:_ Not mine. Not surprising.

_Author's Note:_ I finally got a chance to watch the first two DVDs of _The Second Raid_, and AAAAAAAAAAGH! Noooo, Sosuke! Don't leave Kaname all alone!

Anyway, I have no idea when this little fic would take place—first season, Fumoffu, TSR— but please enjoy it for what it is. :D

_Dedication:_ For Zena and Nina. Thanks for lending me your DVDs! X3

**XXX **

Three Little Words

**XXX**

She knew it would be him. Even before the door slid open—_slammed _open, more like it— she knew. And it scared her, a little, to realize that she knew; to realize how attuned she'd become to him… how suddenly the emptiness she'd felt without him around had vanished.

To counter this, she set her face in a venomous glower.

"So, Sagara…" the teacher droned, irritated, from the front of the room. Privately, she wished he'd shut up; only _she_ was allowed to talk to him like that: like he was trouble. Like he was a pain. "What's the story this time?"

Without looking, she knew his back had stiffened. He'd straightened, as he always did, when talking to authority. Or strangers. Or anybody besides herself, really. "I'm sorry, sir," he said briskly, standing at attention in the doorframe. He sounded out of breath; he must have rushed to make it to school at all. "I'm afraid I had been detained by—"

From a seat beside the window, a blonde girl giggled, muttering something to her friend.

Her eyebrow ticked.

The teacher sighed, waving a dismissive hand. "Ah, stuff it and sit down."

"Yes, sir."

There was a soft scraping of wood on linoleum as the chair behind her own was pulled out, reposition, and sat in. She could hear his breathing slowly steady, and feel his sharp eyes on the back of her head.

For the first time in a week, she relaxed.

"Hey, Sosuke!"

His head twisted towards the speaker, mouth curled into a somber frown. "Yes, Tokiwa?"

Kyoko giggled, amused—as usual—with his formality. "Where have you been the past few days?" she quietly asked, leaning away from her desk and towards his own. "A mission?"

"That's an affirmative."

She watched the exchange from the corner of her eye, carefully keeping her own face blank. But Kyoko noticed (Kyoko _always_ noticed) the way her fingers had tightened around the cell phone in her pocket.

…If he hadn't shown up, she'd been planning to call him. She _would_ have called him— today, she would have— and told him. She would have told him those three little words; those words that had been on her mind a lot, lately. It had taken a while to build up the nerves, but…

Kyoko turned away from him, her wide eyes dancing with delight. "So didja tell him?" she whispered, as if he couldn't hear. Yeah _right_… if it had to do with her, he would have heard a pin drop ten miles away.

"Tell me what?" he inquired, careening forward in an attempt to see her face. His tone was both forceful and worried. It made Kyoko's smile widen by three teeth on each side.

"_Nothing_," she hissed, red in the face—from anger, of course. It was from _anger_—as she stuffed the phone away for good. "Now the two of you be quiet! I want to hear this lecture!"

**X**

"_SOOOOOOOSUKEEEEEEEEEEEEE_!"

She could hear his silent "eep" from the stairwell; her feet flew down the steps for the chance to reunite with his face. It been days since she'd given him a good bashing—!

Of course, he hadn't _been_ there during those days. Those long, quiet days…

"Sosuke!" she screeched, smacking him upside the head with a paper fan— "That _hurts_, you know, Chidori"— "What the HELL do you think you're doing?! You could have KILLED us!"

His brow furrowed as he massaged his abused skull. "I think you're over reacting a litt—"

"I AM NOT OVER REACTING!"

"Chidori," he said calmly—as if she should be used to finding hand grenades hidden inside the gym's baseballs bins. Which, to be perfectly frank, she probably _should_ be. "It is necessary to be prepared at all times. I can only fit so many weapons into my gym uniform, and it's against the rules to bring your bag with you into the gymnasium. I needed to store them _some_where."

"It's against school rules to bring weapons into school at _all_, you doofus!" she raged, bashing him again with the fan. He grunted, rubbing scornfully at the new lump on his head.

"They were well hidden and only to be used in crucial situations," he said defensively. His steady gaze connected with her's, confirming his words: saying that he truly, honestly, and completely believed what he did was right.

His sincerity only aggravated her further. "Like when we're pitching for the other team?! Sosuke, someone could have been hurt if they'd accidentally detonated one! You've got to think things like this through!"

"I understand."

She doubted it. "Just go throw them out, okay?" she sighed, resting the fan on her shoulder and gesturing for him to leave. "And next time, leave the bombs at home."

He saluted, nodding, and offered her a solemn smile. "It's not a problem."

"Yeah, sure," she muttered dryly, rolling her eyes. "When you're not around, it's not."

She ignored the way her heart stopped beating when the words left her mouth.

**X**

"You really ought to tell him, you know."

Horrified by her friend's blunt statement, she gasped, hushing Kyoko with her panicked eyes and waving hand. In an equally wordless response, Kyoko patiently shook her head, torn between amusement and frustration. Behind them, as usual, he marched silently along—body tense and on high alert. "Oh, Kaname…"

"Look, it's just not important right now, okay?" she grumbled through gritted teeth, intentionally looking the other way. The sun was setting; the rosy lights made the city streets glitter and glow. "I'll tell him later."

"C'mon, Kaname. It can't be _that_ hard. It's only three little words."

"Shut _up_, Kyoko."

Kyoko pouted out her bottom lip. "If you don't tell him now," she warned, "he'll have no reason not to go away again."

_Go away…_? She froze, the prospect too painful to digest. The sudden stiffness of her body made him start.

"Chidori?" he gaped, touching her shoulder. "Are you alright? Are you paralyzed?!" Without waiting for a response, he leapt out in front of her, whipping out his largest weapon and scanning the scene for potential assassins with dart guns. Everyone within a mile radius screamed, ducking away—

Until he was knocked out from behind with a school bag.

Kyoko laughed nervously, inching away from her violent best friend. "Well, just think about it," she advised. And then Kyoko scampered off.

She was left alone with the unconscious mercenary and a stomach full of butterflies.

**X**

He clasped his hands together, bowing his head. "Thank you for the food."

In reply, she simply smiled, watching his chopsticks fly: grabbing at whatever he could reach on the tiny table. "Geez, hungry much?" she joked, choosing to watch him rather than get in his way. She wasn't really hungry, anyway… And even if she was, she'd prefer make sure _he_ ate. His cheeks had been looking a little sunken. "Do they not feed you when you're on missions?"

"No," he said simply—though through a mouthful of food— clearly having missed her teasing inflection. "No time."

Her eyes widened. "What?!" she cried, leaping to her feet. He flinched away, having been taught long ago to fear her wrath. He shouldn't have been worried; she was angry for him. "But how're you supposed to fight if you're hungry?"

"You don't really _get _hungry. You're busy thinking of other things," he murmured, shrugging as he eyed her cautiously. Once he'd determined he was not about to be hit, he popped another piece of breaded shrimp into his mouth. "Besides, if you're hungry, that means you're still alive."

…she hadn't thought of it that way before. Regardless, when she sat down again, her eyes remained disapproving.

He ate in silence for a minute.

"Why do you do it?" she then asked, watching him broodingly from across the table. He blinked at her; she rested her chin in her hands, scowling. "Why do you go on missions, if that's the case? If you're hungry and tired and nearly killed all of the time… why? Why not just stay here and go to school? Do you know how many tests you're missing when you wander off to starve?! It's a wonder you're passing anything at all!"

He seemed puzzled. "I go because I'm commanded, of course," he explained. "It's my mission to go on missions. Surely you realize that by now."

She glared at him, annoyed and confused. _Isn't it your mission to make sure that I'm safe, too? _she wanted to ask. _Am I not important to you? Don't you want to stay?_

But to say that would admit to… She turned her head away, her cheeks darkening with irritation.

Irritation—nothing more.

"Chidori…?"

Her head snapped upwards; he was there. _There. _Mere inches away, staring at her with anxiety in his deep gray eyes... She offered him a half smile, even as she mechanically scooted backwards, restoring the distance between them.

"Sorry…" she chuckled, sounding uncomfortable. Her fingers toyed and twisted around one another. "My mind wandered off."

He didn't look convinced, but he nodded just the same. Then he returned to eating, and she to watching, and they were happy for a while.

**X**

"I'll see you tomorrow."

"All right," she agreed quietly, standing in the doorway of her apartment. He stood before her, cool and tall and confident in the porch light— ready to leave for the night. What if she didn't see him in the morning? He was always running off…

His eyes narrowed, sensing her hesitance. "Don't you believe me?"

She glared, switching to offense. "Should I _not_?" she challenged, planting a fist on her hip. He winced, but stood his ground.

"That's not what I meant, Chidori. Please don't misunderstand. My missions—"

"Yeah, I _know_ Sosuke! Your missions are important, your team needs you, your first priority is protecting me! I _know_ all of that already!" she snapped, whipping her head to the left. If she kept her eyes on him, she might start crying. "You've said it all _before_. Unless you have something new to add, just go away. Who knows," she added grumpily. "Maybe I _will_ see you tomorrow. That'd be a first."

He didn't reply. But when she shot him a glare from the corner of her eye, she couldn't help noticing how very _hurt_ he look. Like a puppy, or a lost little boy…

Her anger left her.

…just as he began to.

Panic well up inside of her; Kyoko's words echoed in her head. _If you don't tell him now, he'll have no reason not to go away again. _And if he had no reason, he'd leave. He'd leave, and leave again, and keep leaving… And then, one day, if he thought he had no reason to _return_—

He wouldn't.

_No!_

"W—wait, Sosuke—!" She wavered, reaching a hand towards his retreating back. At the sound of his name, he paused, but did not turn around. "I…"

The hand lowered, jerky and uncertain. "Sosuke, I… that is…"

He waited. She floundered. "I… I…"

Dammit, what was her problem?! They were only three little words!_ Three little words!_ Each one as painless as the last! Just three, teeny, tiny, simple words… So why did they refuse to come out?! Why did they get stuck in her throat?

_Just give up_, her mind told her brusquely. _You'll never tell him. You know you won't. You're too much of a coward. You should just accept it. _

…yes. Yes, she _should_ just accept it. And she had been about to—

When he spun around again, looking perplexed. "Yes?" he prompted, having been waiting for her to speak for over a minute. "What is it, Chidori?"

He caught her off guard. That must have been it—she hadn't been expecting him to turn. She hadn't been expecting the force of his gaze: troubled, soft, and smart, with irises the color of summer storm clouds. She hadn't been expecting the frown on his lips: chapped from sunlight, pulled downward under the weight of burdens too great for a 17-year-old. _Any_ 17-year-old— even a 17-year-old of his… uniqueness. She hadn't been expecting to see him—_really_ see him: the glisten of his rumpled chestnut hair, the hard edge of his scar, the sturdy solidity of his uniform-clad body—as she'd spoken (_if_ she'd spoken) the words she'd wanted to say.

But to see him standing there—alive, whole, stupid and brave and wonderful as ever—she felt the words fly from her mouth on their own accord.

…the same moment that she, herself, flew forward and into his arms.

"Wha— Chidori?! What're you—?"

"_I missed you_."

His stuttered protests died.

"I missed you," she repeated in a whisper, clinging to him as if for dear life. Her fingers formed fists around handfuls of his shirt; she buried her face in his chest. He smelt faintly of machine oil and gun metal. She liked it. "While you were away, I… I mean…"

As she'd spoken, he'd straightened in shock, visibly unsure of how to respond… So she took charge, wrapping her arms around his neck, holding him more firmly to her. "_Please_ don't leave again…" she breathed, words muffled by his shoulder. "I _missed _you, Sosuke."

There. She'd said it. She'd told him. Those three little words… he knew, now.

Feeling embarrassed and a little awkward, she made to untangle her arms from around him—

But stopped when—to her intense surprise— callused hands fell tentatively against the small of her back, returning the embrace.

His head dropped upon her shoulder; his gentle hold tightened. And when he spoke again, it was softly in her ear.

"I missed you, too, Kaname."

**XXX**


End file.
